(Trying to) Reach the Unreachable

I came back from the dark-10-months-of-faithless. I saw many things trapped in my fantasy. I expected too much from it. Felt like I was living in a fairy tale. I couldn't face the truth. I forgot to reflecting myself.

Why? Why was I so stupid? I should've open my eyes widely and see the things should be seen.

I realize, what I am expecting depends on myself and how hard I fight for it. I'm not living in a fantasy. I'm not living in my own world with my own rules. Many things I couldn't decide on my own. I'm not a decision maker. I'm just a planner with many dreams spinning around my head. I remember well now there's a BIG power that just being forgotten. It rules the universe, supporting my dreams if I have strong will.

I was searching overseas, but I've found nothing. I fogot to see things around me. I expected too much with few actions. Now I remember well, "who" I am looking for. I remember well what I am supposed to do here, at "home". I've found EVERYTHING here. Everything I NEED. Still, God love me this MUCH. I am still allowed to being "safe" here.  This place is my treasure.

Slowly, trying to see things I should've. Slowly, I'm turning back. Back to reality. Back to my best friends. Back to a place I called "home", where I belong. I could find my "chicken soup" here, at "home"!!

Close my eyes for a while, take a deep breath, and trying to rearrange the pieces of the puzzle-of-unraveled dreams. I know i can. Okay, 2015 is not a big deal, though!